I am trying to be sexy but I don’t know if S likes it. I mean it’s my fantasy not hers but I wish it could be our fantasy. I ask her what she wants but she doesn’t reply. I look up, a drip of wet is coming from her labia. I move a little and it drips right onto my cheek. Another almost in my eye. I am laying on the ground. I get on my knees and begin to lick her labia and then her clit. She doesn’t show any sign of arousal but I bet her letters are shaky. I am licking her and more and more wet emerges and fills my mouth. It is warm and gelatinous. Her body is engorged. I make her come in a minute because I feel bad about my fantasies. I want her to come again so I put three fingers up her and push pressure towards her belly. She comes again. The overhead announcement is the voice of my Team Leader. She asks me to return but in words that do not directly say this because she doesn’t want the Store Team Leader to know I am missing again because she still thinks she can fuck me in the future and doesn’t want me fired. I want to make S come again. I do everything in threes. I get a flat tire in threes. I trip three times when I walk. I get three tattoos. I make S come three times. I ask S if she knows that the seeds of the papaya are a natural birth control. She says why does she need papaya seeds if she has me and I tell her she doesn’t have me and I suck on her clit and she comes fast and violently, falling to the floor.

“Papaya is what you taste like S, papaya was the word I was looking for.”

I take a Bandaid from the first aid kit and put it on my forehead like I got a really bad gash. I go back to my department where my team leader is and tell her I was just shielding customers from my bloodied face in the bathroom.

“What happened to you?”

she asks.

“I was looking at you, Team Leader, when I tripped. I hit my head on the register. I could sue.”

She says She didn’t realize Her t shirt showed so much but She is moving Her shirt up and down almost uncovering herself and what should I fuck myself with in the lforal fridge rose stem no too violent hyacinth stem maybe but breaks too easily three spray roses perhaps a lily? Too obvious. People always associating flowers with sex but so unfuckable. I end up, no joke, reaching for a pussy willow stem. It wasn’t my first choice but She is in the video telling me what to do so I take the stem and sit on the floor my phone is also on the floor so She can see up my skirt I tease my upper thigh with the soft grey pussy willow flower and She laughs and says no this is not sexy but I ignore Her and begin poking at my labia with the twig. I was wet the moment I saw Her on my small screen okay I see Her and I shiver. I try to be a stick but when I see Her I float I leave my head I stop thinking I stop problematizing culture it’s just her Her Her Her Her Her Her Her laugh Her long lips Her deep soft voice Her Her voice and the twig is up my vagina I’m putting in more twigs not just one and I want Her to push me over on the bed and fuck me with all these sticks but She is a small screen and not saying anything or becoming aroused. She moves Her shirt continually up and down across Her nipples every part of me wants Her body Her clit tastes like salt and before I met Her I tried to suppress the erotic feelings that surround my but now I open to them I think them I further them. I let Her get me wet with a text and I get wetter and wetter on my own the sticks have my vagina stimulated so I walk around to the buckets filled with bouquets and I squat on them and rub my labia back and forth on the petals the fluttering like Her small hands I will possess the erotic feeling I will further it. I will make Her watch the petal and my labia quiver. She is saying do not be steady. She is saying you will come when you allow unsteady. I know the fridge is almost soundproof so I whimper. So many petals touching me everywhere like hands never could they are on my thigh my ass my pubis they are touching each hair and parting it. She makes me say Her name 5 times. She makes me grab my nipple. She finally lets me touch my clit and now I can’t stop saying Her name. I touch my chin to my chest because I can no longer support my head with my neck. I come in seconds the air smelling like the earth. Coming in the floral fridge is cold and unnatural the temperature 36 degrees. I am the child the mother the woman alone in the floral fridge. All of my times become one time and how to describe the time I masturbated and everything was different after. How to describe the feeling of my hand on my clit and making myself come unable to withhold a groan. When will I see you. I want to see you. I am in a fridge but I am sweating. I am following every feeling. I am the flower. My head fuzzy and full I leave the fridge I erase the whiteboard I clock back in I return to my register I scan thousands of items for more and more mothers. They know I am them and could be them at any moment. They tell me to be smart to try before I buy I am scanning items with my unwashed clit hand they feel close to me they smell the familiar the full labia the puff of finger on labia

so similar the finger the labia the stomach the lip the labia almost the same the lip the labia the finger the stomach the

“Chick with the weird bangs please report to the pasta aisle,”

the intercom announces. I know that voice. It’s Y. She wants me in the pasta aisle.

We are stuck in a loop that never ends. I hear Q say 1,000 times today

“Are you enjoying this weather today? It’s just beautiful!”

I hear N say 1,000 times,

“Would you like single or double paper bags?”

I hear R say 1,000 times

“I just love these noodles! Have you ever made your own pho???”

I hear A say 1,000 times,

“Would you like your receipt?”

I hear myself say 1,000 times,

“Did you find everything you were looking for?”

I ask Her if She found everything She was looking for and She just slaps my face,

“Ohhhhhhh”

Everyone in the store saw. She walked into the store she poured all of the green juice on the floor spelling my name. She opened ten bags of chips and threw them in the air. She made lettuce fall from the sky. It was beautiful.

The overhead announcement cuts through the disco,

“Attentional all team members, Z you are needed upstairs in the Team Leader office, at your earliest convenience! ::-)”

Everyone turns to look at me. They saw, they know. They all think I am about to be fired. I slowly walk up the stairs, take a Justin’s Individually Packed Tube of Maple Almond Butter, Kim Kardashian’s favorite dessert. I squeeze it in my mouth, waving to all my comrades on the way up. My Dick Father D, my bloody C in the meat department, No Ass P, beautiful Y. They are applauding me and I am smiling, energized by sugar and nut protein.

I stroll into the Store Team Leader Office, the only place in the store with a door that closes. She closes the door quickly and hits play on the small TV. It is a grainy image of Her. She is pouring green juice on the concrete floor, spelling my name, claiming my body till it quickly turns into just a green puddle. She rolls a honeydew melon through the green juice, throwing it like a bowling ball. She throws the honeydew so hard it hits a child and knocks him over and She yells,

“Strike against heteronormativity! Strike against homonormativity!”

And I am actually impressed with the angle of the video and the overall quality of production. Normally I would ask for the tape for my next gallery show but I can tell from the Store Team Leaders face this is Not A Joke. The only way to ensure she has power, in a Progressive Liberal Way, is to smile often but know when this is Not A Joke. I remember this may be the last time I ever get to see this video so I turn back to the screen. The Store Team Leader hits a key and the camera changes.

Now our vision is pointed at the salad bar. She is taking off all of her clothes. She is putting quinoa up her vagina, which can’t be good for her Ph levels. She is pouring avocado dressing down her chest it covers her breast then uncovers it again, dripping everywhere. She slips off the salad bar to the concrete floor but keeps writhing. She wants to come 10 times she screams looking directly at the camera. She, a goddess. We watch the complete video, it is 20 minutes long. The final act depicts Her, covering with quinoa, cereal, Gluten Free Flour, avocado dressing, and coconut oil. I’m proud even in this she stuck with her dietary restrictions. The Store Team Leader pauses then rewinds the video to the beginning, Her next to my name in the green juice.

I stare without recognition.

“So, how do you know her?”

says the Store Team Leader.

“I do not know her.”

“Then why is your name written in juice?”

I laugh at the puddle and frown with a concerned look on my face.

“Are you trying to say because I am a gay woman I must know this other butch woman? Are you trying to say this situation is my fault?”

Now the Store Team Leader is frowning.

“Well, I wasn’t saying it was because you are gay I was just saying you two would be a cute couple.”

“Oh, could you give me her phone number?”

“I will try to find it. Did you enjoy the video?”

“I did, thank you.”